This is why

Yes, I was as happy as I seemed in this photograph on my wedding day. Kind of scary, right? My younger sister pointed out I looked like I was at a Phish concert. Except that my wedding was better. Way better, hands down.

I have the day off on Friday, so prepare to be blown away by some serious organization of the living room and non-utilized craft corner of our teeny tiny apartment. Before and after photos to follow!

xoxo

Gray day, yellow scarf

Plus my two favorite dudefaces on Halloween. <3  We didn't really do Halloween seeing as all we were equipped with were a few pieces of glue-on facial hair and a pair of swimming goggles. Guess who got those?

Annisquam

Some days I wake up and feel absolutely paralyzed by the fact that I haven't been physically creative in almost 5 years. I focus so intensley on what I haven't done that it keeps me from acknowledging what I know myself to be capable of. Such was my morning yesterday, which prompted the creation of this blog. Usually all I can manage in this state are the day to day tasks, mindless, constant. So making this blog was already a positive step away from the creative anxiety. Point for me.


John and I decided a car ride was in order. We could see from our living room window that it was sunny and windy, the tree branches looking like they were about to snap. The cats were having a ball chasing the flying brown and yellow leaves from window sill to window sill. What superb hunters they are! We stepped outside, completely overdressed in sweaters and scarves. It was maybe 70 degrees, probably the last time in quite a while we will see a day like this, which is both invigorating and unfortunate at the same time.


The North Shore has always been a source of renewal and inspiration to John and I. We fall in love with the area every time we take a ride, even if we've seen a particular place a thousand times. We fantasize sometimes about what town we'd like to settle down in, where we'd want to start our family. Honestly, I think we'd be happy anywhere up here, but John likes to add "anywhere where there's water or marshes", which really is pretty much everywhere. The few times we've been to West Gloucester or Annisquam, we've always been rendered speechless with the exception of frequent "this place is amazing" statements. It feels very much off the beaten path. It doesn't have the hub of business that Gloucester and Rockport have. There's not much there besides old coastal homes and the ocean, which is what we love so much about it. It's peaceful, comfortable. 


We hadn't eaten yet, so once we got to Annisquam we stopped into Willow Rest. Summertime boaters come to Willow Rest's diesel pump to fuel up and get lunch. I'd always assumed it was like a quickie mart with a seasonal gas pump, but the last time we'd come to Annisquam we were told by a gallery owner we had to try this place. What I'd thought would be an overrated convenience store turned out to be an indoor farm stand and coffee shop with tables and a small bar for sit-down breakfast and lunch service. It was clean and quirky and one of those places that just makes you feel good. We sat down and I ordered curried cauliflower soup and a roasted eggplant sandwich, John had an omelet with bacon and potatoes. 


Perhaps I'm alone in this, but sometimes when I'm in the right place eating something delicious and perfect, I swear I'm having a transformative religious experience. That's what it was as I sipped my soup, dipping the toasted baguette deep into the bottom of the cup. I was so content in that moment, sitting next to John in this funny little restaurant/bakery/produce market/gas station, eating my (absolutely mind-blowing delicious) soup and watching the busy chaos of the Sunday brunch crowd. There was a man across the store sifting through the open crate of fingerling potatoes while his young daughter opened every refrigerator case door to see what was within her reaching hands. The woman working behind the counter was clapping her hands to Bow Wow Wow's "I Want Candy" and that song from Empire Records - you know the one - playing on the radio. I liked the kitschy laminated floral placemats and the chalkboard with the prices of all the fruits and vegetables. I even liked paying for our meals and snacks as the clapping lady punched our total, rhythmically, into the old manual cash register. 

This is the kind of experience I need from time to time. I realized that even though I rarely make art or create beautiful things, I can see it and feel it in the every day stuff. I sometimes think that's even better than having to create the beauty you want to see. Eventually I will get back to wanting to make it, but for now I'm ok just seeing it.